Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Randomize
