....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.