I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
NoShamevember. You game?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
