Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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