Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
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we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
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You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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