youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize