i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
