It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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