she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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