even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
