He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am one with the molecules
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
