Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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