Don't make out with my wife yet
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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