I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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