sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
