3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
