Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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