no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
