The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
