dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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