Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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