you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
