I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
