Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
someone owes me an orgasm
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
