Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
