Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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