On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How external is "for external use only"?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
