he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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