so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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