3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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