Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
