No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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