$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
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The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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