Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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