I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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