he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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