Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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