Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
