i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
