If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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