Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
