WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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