the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
