I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
