I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
