Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize