Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize