oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
