I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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