I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
