Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
