No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
