This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
