I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
