You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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