I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
