my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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